“Ocean swimming is a glamour sport”
Said nobody, ever.
Between caps and goggles and lycra outfits that cover the bare essentials, not to mention the joy of the wetsuit dance, and apres-swim requirements, I’m guilty of many, many crimes against fashion. I admit it, I’m a repeat offender.
There is one thing, though, that stands in a class of it’s own. The wardrobe malfunction. I imagine it’s possible for guys, but I’ve not come across it. Just about every girl, though has a story about it, and almost everyone has been witness to a bad one. I personally was subjected to a particularly bad case in the North Bondi Roughwater last week. I was swimming alongside a woman in what looked like a perfectly sensible speedo one-piece who was completely oblivious to the fact that every time I I breathed to my left I was copping full view of well, ummm, let’s just say it was a Janet Jackson superbowl moment. I kept thinking surely she would realise…I didn’t really want to stop, but eventually I tapped her one the shoulder and gasped “fix your swimmers!”
She thanked me and adjusted as though she had a wedgie. *Sigh*
This is an unfortunate problem with ocean swimming. I think is has to do with the fact that there are currents and waves and other swimmers jostling. And most ladies swimmers are either made with fashion or pool-swimming in mind.
There are a couple of exceptions, though. I’ve raved about Funkitas here before. They are awesome swimmers with awesome patterns, and they are comfortable and *ahem* secure, and last well. The other swimmers I now recommend are Minnows. These are made by the gorgeous (and super-fast) Immie who swims with me at 4SEASons. She made our very special 4SEASons swimmers, modeled below by yours truly (in the middle)!
The Minnows feel different when you put them on. They have a very high cross strap at the back; basically across your shoulder blades. This combined with smaller armholes means the risk of a wardrobe malfunction is substantially reduced. Plus the material is really soft and stretchy which makes them super comfortable (and non-chafing!). They really are made by an ocean swimmer for ocean swimmers.
So if that woman from North Bondi happens to be reading….no more excuses!